It is a challenging time. It is an opportunity for change. How can we change the hearts and minds of others? "Battle lines are being drawn. Nobody's right if everybody's wrong."
https://bit.ly/StopChildrenWhatsThatSound
In 1967, Buffalo Springfield sang those words. I was just seven. The perspective I gained then serves me to this day.
I was an only child, not by design. I have two sisters, both stillborn. Consequently, my next-door neighbors, the Kirst's, with their seven children, became my older brothers and sisters. The oldest brother, Doug, was my sixth-grade science teacher. He was one of the most influential people in my life. He's why I became an engineer.
Doug and his three sisters, Kathy, Karen, and Pam, were all members of the group "Up with People." U.W.P. is an apolitical, non-profit organization of young people that still exists today. Their original charter was to bring people together with positivity and music. Anyone who knows me, knows these are values I still espouse. I fondly remember when a large group of U.W.P. youth visited our town. The Kirst kids were part of this group. Imagine as a seven-year-old being part of a block-wide water balloon fight with 30 college kids from all over the country. My friends and I were part of this weekend-long visit. Of this powerfully positive group of individuals, four of them camped in my backyard. My mom served them breakfast. One of them had a transistor radio at the breakfast table. That's when I heard "For what it's worth" for the first time. Throughout that Summer, the power of music grew over me. One night, while sleeping outside in our clubhouse, my friends Craig, Ricky, and I listened all night to the radio. I was transfixed. In the silence of the night, the Doors "Light my Fire" invoked a feeling I re-experience every time I hear that tune.
Through 1967 and the intervening years, America experienced a period of great upheaval and change.
We were in the heart of the Vietnam war. Authority was distrusted. We lived through the assassinations of Bobby Kennedy and Martin Luther King. There was the Battle of Khe Sah and the Johnson Administration Vietnam War escalation. Not to forget the Democratic National Convention riots in Chicago, and the first man on the Moon, it was the power of positivity and understanding that won the day.
In today's political climate, I do not believe that social media is the platform to change hearts and minds. I think it only entrenches already established biases. I think you can only change minds with a reasoned conversation. Too many families are being torn apart today because of an inability to communicate respectfully.
Last Friday, I was honored to join a group coaching session where nearly 800 people received a great gift of common sense. As the leader of that session, Brendon Burchard often says, "common sense isn't always common practice." I want to share some of what I learned. All of this is common sense.
If you fail to apply critical thinking, and the Socratic method of asking questions for matters deeply divisive, you run the risk of being overly influenced by a herd mentality. Keep your individuality. Don't always believe the conventional wisdom. These practices have served me well over the years. Finally, consistency in communication is the most effective approach.
Root out the judgmental thoughts you have. Your biases can only be challenged by you. Challenge them every chance you get. Challenging yourself, on the most sensitive and explosive issues, will hone your understanding to a sharp, definitive point. It will also allow you to change. Without change, we are all doomed.
Be sure to study history. What happened in 1968? What worked and what didn't?
When speaking with others;
Do Not Generalize - when you rely on stereotypes, you close doors of potential understanding and compromise. Without compromise, there will never be any peace.
Do Not Accuse - Try accusing someone of something evil. You will find out quickly that it is supremely counterproductive.
Do Not Make Assumptions - One person's opinions and realities are from their own experiences. Making assumptions about another is the height of vanity.
Do Not Condescend - The tone of our voice matters. Check what you say and how you say it.
Finally, expand your conversation beyond your circle of influence. Do not listen to only one side. Listen to many and strive to understand. Speak for yourself and not for others. Choose to be a beacon of your values. Be the change you desire.
Next week, if logistics work out, I will be publishing installment 4 of The Influencer Series. I plan to interview Mr. Marquis Mitchell. Marquis is a member of my L.A. centered men's group M.E.T.A.L. (Media, Entertainment, Technology, and Artistic Leaders). From the M.E.T.A.L. website;
"You're wired to make a difference; it's who you are.
But in a disinterested, disingenuous and dismissive world, it's too easy to become disconnected from what matters.
Every week, METAL inspires a powerful brotherhood of change-makers to do better, to be better, and to be there for each other.
By opening our minds and strengthening our bonds, we're able to help each other make a real difference."
He and I share the universal values of this heart-led brotherhood, and we share a common goal of making a difference.
Marquis is the founder and C.E.O. of Souljas Progression, a recently formed L.A. based non-profit. This last year is one where Marquis was tested as never before. After delivering a persuasive speech at a local church, Marquis went for a short swim. A rogue wave blindsided him. The violent crash of water gravely injured him. He suffered one ruptured and two disintegrated cervical discs. He was at death's door. He survived and was informed there was a 90% chance of total quadriplegic paralysis. His faith in God and belief in himself would not allow him to accept this prognosis. He used that belief system, and he self-activated with it, and as a result, this miracle is walking around today to tell you all about it.
Join Marquis and me when we get into the details of his survival. We will explore how the power of belief in oneself can be a beacon for all of us in these difficult times.
