What we do when no one is watching is an important measure of character. Through self-reflection, it’s a measure only we can ascertain.
We all have our guilty pleasures, don’t we? Once we enjoy the dopamine hit that comes from satisfying our guilty pleasures, we run the risk of creating habits that will be hard to break.
The classic experiment in delayed gratification is The Marshmallow Test. Five-year-old children are given a choice; eat one marshmallow now, or wait and get a second marshmallow. While observing the machinations that a kindergartener undergoes is entertaining, and maybe even a guilty pleasure in its own right (a pox on you, Youtube), It has been shown, in study after study, that an early ability to delay gratification leads to more well-adjusted adults.
Now that we, or most of us, are adults, how can we enhance our ability to delay gratification? M. Scott Peck wrote in “The Road Less Travelled,” “Delaying gratification is a process of scheduling the pain and pleasure in life in such a way as to enhance the pleasure by meeting and experiencing the pain first and putting it behind us. It is the only decent way to live.”
The way we can manage our days should leverage the idea that getting the most daunting task, or project portion out of the way first sets us up for two wins later in the day. The more enjoyable tasks are experienced with relish, and we will have slain the Procrastination Dragon (a shameless nod to Game of Thrones season starting last night!).
Here are five ways you can delay gratification:
- Make an advanced decision and know what you want - Get it in writing. This is a perfect subject for your journaling practice. It’s one that I employ often.
- Know your Values - Understanding and journaling about what matters most to you help you gain clarity, and will inform your decisions.
- Have a Plan - In every area of our lives, well thought out, documented and revisited and refined plans help us to keep our path real.
- Prioritize - Have clear priorities for your day and your life.
- Reward yourself - By celebrating your wins on short term goals, you will build momentum on achieving the long term goals.
While an early ability to delay gratification generally portends good things later in life, we can all continue to develop this skill through consistent self-reflection and intentional application.
The Marshmallow Test
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QX_oy9614HQ
