In my weekly quote post on Monday, we put up a great one from Isabella Stuart Gardener; "Win as though you were used to it, and lose as if you like it."…Simple but profound. ISG was an eccentric patron of the arts. She and her husband built the ISG Museum in Boston, home to her collection and life's work.
In 1912, the year before Boston's second World Series win, she set the aristocratic sets "tongues a-wagging" by wearing a white headband to a Boston Symphony Orchestra performance which said, "Oh, you Red Sox." Having won the title the year before, the Sox were 15 1/2 games out of first when ISG made her controversial appearance. They were losing and losing badly.
Soon after that, the Boston Redsox would make losing into an art form. After their last title in 1918, not until 2004, when the "Curse of the Bambino" was reversed, did the Sox win again. In those 86 years, the Redsox found more ways to lose than you could "shake a stick at." Second-rate players would otherwise dispatch the Sox with one swing to end their season in 1978 and 2003. The names of Bucky Dent and Aaron Boone will live on in infamy in Boston Sports lore.
So, what is the lesson here? The story of the 2004 Redsox is one of the greatest stories in all of sports. It would never have been so great had the Sox not lost every year for 86 years. After the Sox finally won, the regional catharsis was so deep that it set in motion a sense of pride and success in all major Boston sports that the city earned the moniker of "Title Town."
In a recent interview with actor John Voight, he revealed he was at a major crossroads early in his career. He was admittedly becoming more and more nihilistic, and he often lamented how difficult life was. In a sleepless stupor early one morning, he was saying over and over, "Everything is difficult, everything is difficult, everything is difficult." Clear as day, he recounts, a voice spoke to him that rang like the peel of a church bell: "It's meant to be difficult." And with that, he pivoted and embraced each challenge and put his failures into proper perspective.
Failure often isn't an option. We find ourselves pinned against the wall with the circumstances of our lives. I want you to know that you are not alone in this. I've come to learn that everyone finds themselves at that crossroads. And if failure comes to pass, then you likely had the wrong goal. The Red Sox and the city of Boston didn't want to be losers. But in the end, their story of loss became a great story of triumph.
How do you prepare yourself to handle failure? The first thing to do is recognize that all great achievers are given multiple reasons to believe they are failures. But despite that, they persevere. They treat themselves like they treat others. They value people. They praise effort. They reward performance. Achievers reject rejection. Achievers keep expectations realistic. Most of all, achievers consider failure as a necessary element of success.
To be able to reject failure and regret is to trust in your ability to figure things out. Life is too short to ruminate about the past. Rumination leads to ruination. Life is too short to be anxious about the future. Projecting failure does nothing for you. All that matters and all that you have is what is happening right now. Take whatever it is and wherever you are and live fully into that.
On Wednesday the 21st at 5pm EST, I will be interviewed by the 20/20 Perspective about how I help people handle and move past failure alongside two other amazing coaches, Maya Dolgin (https://www.linkedin.com/in/
Be well, dear reader.
