A Stunningly Simple Secret for Success

Have you ever been gobsmacked with the realization about a key that unlocks a myriad of doors? This key, to which I refer, works with business consulting, team management, High-Performance Coaching, and even parenting. It’s something that when stated in a plain understandable manner causes the clouds to lift, and the sun to shine, and you realize, “Doh, I’ve known this all along.”

Homer Knows

In High-Performance coaching, my colleagues and I love the term “Co-create” because it embodies the essence of our efficacy. This week while preparing for my upcoming peer to peer Leadership Roundtable program I read this in Michael Wilkinson’s “The Secrets of Facilitation”:

                                                                Secret # 1

                                       The Fundamental Secret of Facilitation

              You can achieve more effective results when solutions are created,

                           understood, and accepted by the people impacted.

I slap my hand into forehead with the realization that, YES!: This is the key to everything.  

Here is an example of how it works. Your middle schooler is not doing their homework. You can ask them: “When are you going to start your homework?” Alternatively, you can take a different approach; one where they are co-creating with you and end up owning it. You can ask: “On a scale of 1 to 10, how ready are you to start your homework right now?” The young adult says: “Hmmm, I’m at a five.” You: “Why aren’t you at a four?” Oooh, this gets the wheels turning, a conversation started, and before you know it you’ve determined why they aren’t ready to start, and what they will do to get prepared, and start. They own it. They created it. You were just there to move them along by ASKING THE RIGHT QUESTIONS. Moreover, this, my friends, is the real secret. Learn to ask the right questions, and the world will unfold before you in ways you didn’t think possible. 

From the Harvard Business Review:

HBR Article Here!

The most effective and empowering questions create value in one or more of the following ways:

1. They create clarity: “Can you explain more about this situation?”
2. They construct better working relations: Instead of “Did you make your sales goal?” ask, “How have sales been going?”
3. They help people think analytically and critically: “What are the consequences of going this route?”
4. They inspire people to reflect and see things in fresh, unpredictable ways: “Why did this work?”
5. They encourage breakthrough thinking: “Can that be done in any other way?”
6. They challenge assumptions: “What do you think you will lose if you start sharing responsibility for the implementation process?”
7. They create ownership of solutions: “Based on your experience, what do you suggest we do here?”