The ancient Toltec culture from Central America called it "Mitote" (mih-toe-tay). Our emotional and intellectual complexity has been around for thousands of years, and it is a problem today as much as it was then. Who doesn't ruminate on things that are a total waste of time? And when that chatter becomes too loud or too frequent, it can bury you in a pile of indecision and stagnation.
Don Miguel Ruiz wrote about the impact of Mitote on our modern mindsets and its remedy in "The Four Agreements," one of the most impactful books I've ever read and one I often refer to. For many of us, the second agreement is the most difficult to neutralize; "Don't take things personally." We so often are so tied up with guilt in our lives we never stop to think about what this means; in a way, it's the ultimate act of selfishness to take things personally. It manifests itself from a place where we are at the center of other people's considerations. It's helpful to remember that each of us has come along a unique path. Our understanding and perception are our own, wholly and unequivocally.
Here are three ways to calm the 1,000 voices in your head.
Practice Shinrin Yoku. Literally, "Forest Bathing" in Japanese. This term was coined in 1982 when the pressures and stress of becoming a major world economy profoundly impacted Japan. Forest environments promote lower cortisol concentrations, lower pulse rate, lower blood pressure, greater parasympathetic nerve activity, and lower sympathetic nerve activity than do city environments.
Create opportunities for awe. There is beauty all around us. Within this beauty, there is wonder and depth. In nature, in the face of tall trees or breathtaking views, we often experience a sense of awe: the feeling of being in the presence of something vast challenges our understanding of the world. But nature isn't the only thing that can evoke awe. We can also feel when we read poetry or listen to music or watch great athletic feet or our toddler's memorable firsts. Awe is a self-transcendent emotion in that it allows people to think and feel beyond their own needs and wants. The operative power of awe is its ability to make us feel smaller, nudging us to cede control of our inner voice to a greater grandeur.
Clear the Clutter. Get control of your emotions by controlling your environment. Seeing order in the world is a comforting thing. Everything becomes more predictable. There's evidence when we feel out of control when we think about a situation where we were helpless; we are more drawn to visual patterns and structural images as we try to impose order on our external world.
This last weekend, I was humbled and awed. It's been two years since my family and friends felt safe enough to gather at a magical place deep in the mountains on an unspoiled pond. We've been coming back to this place for 30 years now, and it is always the same, and it never gets old. Sure, sometimes it's bone-chilling wet and cold, but when you have to find a way to get warm, you do.
There on Horseshoe Pond, we collectively found Shinrin Yoku, Awe, and Order. There were no voices, no ruminations amongst the 8 of us. Thank you, boys, for a real good time.
And for you, don't wait to reconnect. You need it more than you think.
Be well, dear reader.
